


This Ain’t a Scene, It’s a Gah Deh Arh Reh

by Austere_Cinere



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pretend Friendship, Slice of Life, actually you're just really lonely, and bill is just really wanting to not be stuck in the mindscape, but "gah deh arh reh" is funnier, friendship?, i could have used "not a shoulder to cry on", i don't really good at gravity falls i'm sorry, i guess, i'll do my best, it's just business, the title is referring to how bill isn't really emotionally invested here, you dig?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Austere_Cinere/pseuds/Austere_Cinere
Summary: Pfft, feelings? Haha, no, kid - this is just business. // In which you want a friend, and Bill wants a tether to this dimension.





	This Ain’t a Scene, It’s a Gah Deh Arh Reh

**Author's Note:**

> ohhhh my gosh I actually wrote it
> 
> lemme know if Bill seems OOC or anything blease?? thanks for reading!!

You were never really sure why you shook his hand in the first place. Thinking back, sometimes it felt like your demand was completely childish. You could have just _paid_ someone to be your friend, after all.

          But no. You were _so desperate_ for company that you asked a two-dimensional, monstrous-fairy-godmother-esque knowledge broker – who proudly carried the given title ‘demon’ like it was some fashionable statement, no less – to be your bro. Your buddy. Your chum. Because you were alone and had been long enough to know that no one else wanted you.

          He’d laughed – he had the most annoying laugh. It echoed and reached a piercing crescendo when you agreed to be his nexus to the physical landscape. (You wondered later if you should have taken that laughter as a sign of your bad decisions. Oh, well. Too late now.)

          “We have a _deal_ , kid!” he’d exclaimed delightedly, his grip surprisingly strong for that small hand. He’d blinked meaningfully, slowly enough that you understood it to be a wink. “Or should I say, _pal?_ ”

          “You can call me whatever you want,” you’d shrugged, and you knew that he heard the words you didn’t say: _as long as you actually stick around._ “Pal’s fine. What should I call you? Amigo? Homeslice? Tostada?”

          He’d laughed. Again. He laughed a lot.

          “Oh, where’re my manners?” The triangle removed his hat with a flourish, leaning forward in the approximation of a bow. “The name’s Bill Cipher, your new best friend! Kinda has a nice ring to it, eh?”

          It really did, actually. You told him as much. You also told him that you didn’t expect much on his end, considering you didn’t know how friendship was actually supposed to work.

          “You don’t have to be with me all the time if you don’t want to, though. Most people don’t. That’s okay, I guess.”

          His eye had crinkled in what you assumed was a smile at that, and he flung out his arms in a wide, sweeping gesture.

          “Aw, come on, bucko, you made a deal with _me!_ And _I_ always make good on my word. You want a friend? Buddy, you’re getting friendshipped so hard your fleshy little heart will combust! Your small intestine too!” He cackled. “Boy, that’ll be a sight!”

          His bubbly confidence made a smile tug at your mouth, and you looked down, considering.

          “And all you want is a tether to _this_ reality,” you summed up, “right?”

          “Well, technically, the concept of reality is completely subjective in and of itself, but yeah! That is _all_ I’m asking for, kiddo,” Bill agreed. “And after that, everything else will just fall into place.”

          That had sounded ominous, but then, he was a flying triangle. Anything cryptic or vague was probably just in his nature.

          “Alright,” you said easily, though you wanted to say something more. Something like, _are you sure you won’t just leave?_ or, _do you like board games?_ or, _what are you keeping from me, Bill Cipher?_

          But before you could gather yourself together and just _ask_ , you woke up.

          Your first actual friend, who had agreed to being your actual friend, and you _woke up._ You woke up and it was all just a _dream._ Figured. Come on, talking, flying triangles? The loneliness was just getting to you.

          You raised your hand to wipe away the tears pricking at your eyes, but the fresh ink on your palms stopped you. The large, blocked lettering and swirling dot on the _I_ in the signature were definitely not written by your hand.

          **UP AND AT ’EM, PAL! NO POINT IN SLEEPING IN WHEN SOON, YOU’LL GET TO SLEEP ALL YOU WANT – IN A COFFIN! – Bill**

          The grin that took over your face was relieved, teary, and a little bit stupid. But you had a _friend_ now, strange as he was, and so you really didn’t care.


End file.
